Scott Johnston

When I was still in NYC on sabbatical in 2012, I wondered what I missed about Japan. All I could think of was sushi. While we had eaten sushi in NYC, it was not the same. It seemed dead for a long time. However, after returning to Japan, it came to me while sitting on the toilet. I really missed the washlet toilet. This is an incredible invention. It both warms and washes the behind. It is double W. Not this toilet. This one is an obstacle course for me. How do you use? Which way is the front? Which is back? How do I aim when I do a piss? Even more complicated is to squat. I am not known as Mr. Flexible, so my squat looks like a car driver. How do you avoid the splash effect with that squat? These questions run through my head, whenever I find myself stuck with this toilet, often in train stations. Enough on the low hanging toilet. This is the washlet I am talking about. As we arrived in Jap

March 23, 2020 If you worry about finding a wife, a commercial in Japan shows the easy way. People have been too worried about the dating piece of the puzzle. That puzzle piece is gone. All you need are a few clear, specific questions. You just wait until you get a match. 1st question: What type of food do you like? She likes rice. He likes rolls.  Close, but no match. Go to the next question. 2nd question: What do you like to do in your free time?  She likes collecting flower petals.  He likes to stand in nature thinking about flower petals.  No match. Go to the next question.  3rd question: What pet would you like?  She likes dogs. He likes dogs. Dog! Matching. Go to the wedding. No planning needed. Especially helpful is to pass dating, as that could cause problems if she found out that you have no table manners or have the conversation skills of a rock or stuffed animal.   An

April 3, 2020 Leaving the house with Yoko, my Japanese wife, used to be stressful, until I changed my habits. This is what it looked like. When Yoko and I go out for shopping, she gives me the warning, “We are leaving soon”, texting the message from the living room.    I understood this as, “We are leaving soon”, so I prepared. I changed my clothes, washed my face, got my coat out, and put on my shoes. And I waited at the door. Yoko, walking to the washbasin to put on make-up, clarifies. “We are leaving soon.” I take off my shoes, and go to the bathroom, as I assume this may be my last chance before we are outside. I return to the living room and wait. Getting bored, I take out my smartphone and text. And take off my coat. I hear from the other room, “We are leaving soon. Are you ready?” Now I slowly head to the door carrying my coat, and Yoko, standing at the door ready to go, asks, “Aren’t you ready?” I smile, as I take my last bathroom stop. Now this how it we

Spelling SCOTT JOHNSTON Isn't this great? I can spell my name with and Australian meat pies and red wine. The meat pies are named Scott and seem to be very popular. We bought the meat pies in Coles, a grocery store found all over Victoria. The first time I caught sight of them freezing the frozen food section, I rescued them and laid them in the shopping cart. Yoko, rolling her eyes, said, "Oh no. And who is going to eat them?" Smiling, I raised my hand. In all honesty, they do not taste so great. I bought a beef and lamb meat pie. I cooked them in a microwave and one got nice and soft and sort of tasty. The other one became really hard outside. My teeth refused to bite it. But it said Scott, so I had to smile while chomping at one and swallowing the other. The red wine was also so-so. It seemed a bit stale, as if it had been on the shelf too long waiting for a Johnston to come along. This could be a sad story then. SCOTT'S meat pies are so-so; JOHNSTO

Bad Bus Day on February 25, 2012 Today we had a bad bus day. It was sunny and a hot 30 degrees outside, so we wanted to quickly catch the bus to a car rental place to ask about renting a car. So Yoko and I got to the bus stand near our home a few minutes early. Standing in the heat, Yoko said, “It is hot! Too hot! I need an umbrella.”   Just then I saw the bus coming and yelled, “Yoko! Here it comes.” I walked up to the stand to “hail” the bus, by raising my hand. I looked at the driver to make eye contact to let him know we were waiting to get on as I hugged the bus sign. And he drove by. Just zoomed by and ignored us! I am sure that I had made eye contact. My mouth dropped open in surprise and I glanced at Yoko who was jumping up and down with her hand still in the air. “You can stop now. It is gone, “I explained. “Well, it must be coming back to get us, right?” Yoko asked. “No, it is gone and not coming back. We just experienced another difference between Japan and